The Shame Train

I'll admit it, guys. I messed up. I sent Eve to school last Monday with just a little cough. A little cough. No fever or headache. No stomachache or diarrhea. I thought it was either mild allergies or a wimpy cold she had caught from Drew-- a cold for which he had test negative just a few days beforehand. Honestly, she felt fine. 

And Tuesday morning her COVID-19 test came back positive. I was floored.

Yes, I'm opening myself up for mom-shaming, so go ahead. Have at it. I have seen plenty of it going around. Fire away.

Of course, maybe that's a little harder to do when there is a face to go along with the shaming. Not just an email or notification, but a real face. A friend. A human. 

In perusing Facebook I have seen some really awful things aimed at people like me. I understand why people are angry. If a child is quarantined because someone else came to school sick, it's a pain. A working parent has to stay home. Or appointments have to be rescheduled. The list goes on, I know.

Truth is, we ALL make mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes impact others, and that bites. I feel awful that six of Eve's classmates had to be quarantined because I sent her to school. It's a huge inconvenience for every single family. That's on me. Eve cried when we got her test result Tuesday morning because she was worried she had made others really sick. 

Thankfully, I'm pretty sure that not a single person she has been around in the past two weeks has come down with COVID-19, including our own family.

Although, remember that story in the first chapter of the book of John about the woman taken in adultery? While Jesus sat in the temple, the scribes and Pharisees brought her to him, having taken her in the very act of committing adultery. They said that, according to "the law," she should be stoned. Then they asked him, "but what sayest thou?" 

After writing in the dirt with his finger, he responded, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." 

Many of you already know how many stones came flying. That's right, none.

If Jesus weren't so humble, he could have mic-dropped.

It's common for us humans to seek ways to make ourselves feel superior, to feel like we are the top dogs. It's in our nature. But given that our bodies and spirits must work together, it only makes sense that our spirits need to develop a command over the natural man-- the natural man that is prideful and lazy and selfish. Pride, laziness, and selfishness are normal, but that doesn't mean they are good. 

We can look at another's mistakes, another's weaknesses, and comparing them to our strengths makes us feel better about ourselves, right? We can see ourselves as so much more righteous and moral. It, however, is a short-lived boost to our self-worth, which is why we subconsciously have to keep doing it. Looking in everyone's darkest corner for anything we can point at to bring shame to another. Another human. Another brother or sister. 

Our shame culture, our cancel culture, is out of control, with social media being the catalyst in our day. Criticism has replaced correction. Differences of opinion no longer include discourse, but rather distain. Of course, given that human nature hasn't changed much over thousands, or millions, of years, perhaps I just wasn't paying much attention before.

Well, I'm paying attention now. 

I guess my question is, can we all just be a little more gentle? A little more forgiving? Rather than figuratively looking backwards and cursing the parent who brought their child to school sick, maybe look forward, "cowboy up" and get-'er-done. And maybe, just maybe, we can find our self-worth in our individuality, rather than in meaningless comparisons. Not to mention that God is our Father, and being a child of deity makes our existence pretty significant.

One thing I have noticed in the past week, however, has been the outpouring of love and concern for Eve and our family. Texts and comments and sweet gifts in the mail. I have been overwhelmed and humbled by the kindness of so many. In contrast to the ugliness of the natural man, it was the perfect illustration of the beauty and goodness of the human spirit. 

So let's all hop off the runaway "shame train." Dive, roll, whatever. Just get off. We'll pick each other up off the ground, dust ourselves off, and walk the rest of the way together.

Or we can hitch on ride on the Hogwarts Express. That would be cool, too.  

(Thanks, Natisse, for the books! She was super excited!)